Mad Eye's Secret: Constant Vigilance
by Laura's Fantasia
Summary: Why is Mad Eye Moody so paranoid?


**This is a story that I've been planning/writing for a while, but I finally finished typing it up earlier today. Some swearing and violence. Some of the characters will seem OOC, but as you'll realise, they're supposed to be like that. This is the longest piece of fanfic I've published, so I hope you all like it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter then I'd have already read the last book and ordered the film people to get a move on. However, I do own Francis Yates, Dani and Jack. If you want to use them, please ask (preferably in a review).**

Mad-Eye's Secret

Mad-Eye scowled as he hobbled down the stairs of 12 Grimmauld Place. It was an expression few could remember him not wearing. Even the smell of Molly Weasley's cooking, which could put a smile on the face of any, failed to cheer him up.

He entered the dining room, which was a lot emptier than usual thanks to Hogwarts reopening after the Christmas holidays, and sat down opposite Kingsley Shacklebolt. It was rare for any of the aurors to be around nowadays, with all the havoc Voldemort and his followers were creating. Further down the table, Remus Lupin was looking miserable as he worried about Tonks.

"Any word from Potter?" Mad-Eye growled, nodding thanks to Molly as she handed him a steaming plate of casserole and doing his every-meal, mandatory poison check.

Kingsley shook his head. "He should be contacting us tomorrow if he needs any help."

"So long as the boy follows the advice we gave him he shouldn't need any help. Constant vigilance!"

Remus shook his head, amused. "Where did you get that phrase from, Alastor? I've never heard anyone say something with such ferocity!"

He pushed away the memory that appeared, as always, and turned to glare at the werewolf.

"If you'd seen what I've seen from people not having constant vigilance, you wouldn't be laughing!"

Remus was saved from having to reply by the flames in the fireplace suddenly turning green and a head appearing in them. It was Francis Yates, prison warden at Azkaban since the dementors had left, member of the Order and in charge of the new, more human, guards.

"Quickly! Come quickly! There are dementors and death eaters storming the prison and I don't know how long we can hold on! Some prisoners have escaped already!"

Mad-Eye was already on his feet, along with the rest of the fighters sitting at the table.

"Get your head out of the fire, you idiot! You know we can't apparate to you!"

Francis hurriedly complied, and within moments they were in his office in Azkaban. He was a short man, with greying hair and cold, grey eyes that conformed to completely to the general feel of the prison; harsh, unforgiving, bleak. Mad-Eye knew that the only way one could work in Azkaban and survive was to create a merciless exterior. The dementors had left a permanent imprint.

They marched into the corridor, wands ready, and proceeded in the direction that screams, shouts and a deathly chill were coming from.

A lone death eater was the first to see them, but he dropped, unconscious, thanks to Kingsley's spell.

"Relohamora!" shouted Remus, relocking the door to Lucius Malfoy's cell, the source of the death eater's attention before they had intruded.

Leaving Remus to guard Lucius and other nearby incarcerated death eaters, the group hurried on. In the next twenty minutes, they disrupted several breakouts and rescued two guards, both of whom were extremely grateful for a break from the cruciatus curse. Unfortunately, Arthur Weasley was knocked out, and Dedalus Diggle, who'd been eating with them on this occasion, gained a broken arm. It wasn't until they reached the prison courtyard that they came across dementors. Three of them were patrolling the entrance to the East Wing.

The screaming started almost immediately in Mad-Eye's head; a woman, a child, shouting, calling for help, saying his name, begging for mercy, then a cold, cruel laugh…

He sought for a happy memory, a pleasant thought, but knowing none would come; none ever did; they'd been cast out of him on THAT day, the day he lost everything…

Pure willpower, perfected over the years, was the only thing that kept him conscious while Kingsley and Francis cast patronuses to repel the dark creatures. Throughout, he managed to keep his facial expression the same.

"Thanks for the help," Francis muttered, falling silent at the glare he received from Mad-Eye.

"You seemed to be doing fine on your own." _The idiot doesn't realise that other people have to create merciless exteriors to protect themselves as well_.

It took nearly an hour to root out the remaining death eaters, which weren't many. In total, fifteen prisoners had escaped and three guards were killed, while only four other death eaters were captured.

It was almost 2 am by the time they returned to the Order headquarters, having helped restore some level of security and heal those injured or knocked out, including Arthur and Dedalus. Feeling very miserable, they bade each other goodnight and headed to bed.

Mad-Eye got changed quickly and laid down, trying to forget the screams he had heard earlier when facing the dementors. One of his only failings as an auror had been his inability to cast the patronus spell, even when not up against a dementor. He hadn't been able o for years, ever since…

Without realising it, Mad-Eye fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

Alastor yawned as he gradually woke up, sunlight creeping into the room through a crack in the curtains. A hand was resting across his waist and he turned to see his wife of five years – Danielle Moody. She was still asleep. He settled back down, content to simply watch her. She was a small woman, with dark brown hair and pale skin. There were several freckles on her nose, which Alastor loved to tease her about, and she had dimples when she smiled. 

They'd married young, her aged 23 and him 24, yet both knowing this was exactly what they wanted. Having dated for three years, it came as no surprise to anyone when they married. She also worked at the Ministry, but as a German and Italian interpreter for the Department of International Magical Co-operation. Apparently, languages were too complex to simply create translation spells for them.

Eventually she stirred, smiling at her husband as she stretched.

"Morning."

"Morning. I didn't hear you get back last night."

Dani's work as an interpreter often took her out of the country, much to Alastor's disgust. She'd been travelling to Switzerland daily for the last week, for the Annual European Wizarding Conference.

"Sorry honey, there was a problem with the floo network, and there was no way I was going to be able to apparate 500 miles, so I had to wait till they fixed it. Anyway, the conference is finished now."

"Good; I get you all to myself!"

The door opened just as he was leaning over to kiss her, letting in a 3-year-old, dark-haired boy. Dani giggled at her husband's expression when their son climbed onto the bed and landed himself between them.

"Jack, what have we told you about knocking?" she reprimanded gently. He ignored her.

"Can we go to quidditch today daddy? Pwease! You said you were gonna take me!"

"Don't ignore your mother. Apologise."

"Sowy, mummy. _Pwease _can we go to quidditch?"

"Maybe, if you're good."

He took it as a yes. "Yippee! Thank you daddy! I love you!" He crawled off the bed and ran out, for all the world as if he'd received a definite yes.

"So much for having you all to myself," Alastor muttered, rolling out of bed.

* * *

"Dani, I've been thinking," Alastor said at breakfast. Jack was playing in his room, and it was just the two of them, eating toast. "About the fidelius charm." 

"Alastor –"

"No, hear me out. We're openly defying Voldemort, and it's not exactly hard to find where we live at the moment. He could come here any day to kill us; kill Jack. And he will eventually. The fidelius charm will protect us –"

"And prevent us from seeing any of our friends ever again. Look, I know you're just trying to look after us, but I want a life. No power-crazy, self-proclaimed lord is going to scare us into hiding or deny our son his childhood. You'll probably catch him soon, anyway. You always do."

Alastor sighed. He'd expected this. "If I hear the slightest hint that he's targeting us or aurors in general, I'm doing that charm. And tonight, once Jack's asleep, I'm making our house unplottable."

"Fine. You'll need to pop down to the shops though; we don't have any crystals to mark the boundaries."

He finished the last piece of toast and stood up. "I'll do that now then. Anything you need?"

"Yeah, can you get me some more ink? Jack knocked over a full bottle the other day when you were out, and I haven't had a chance to replace it yet."

"Sure, sweetheart." He kissed her and picked up his cloak from where it was hanging. "See you later."

* * *

Alastor started up the steep hill that led to their home, bags in hand. The queues had been quite short for a Saturday, meaning he was going to be back earlier than he had thought he would be. 

They lived in a smallish cottage on the edge of a quiet, muggle village, which had no idea that the nice couple up the hill, although a bit odd at times, used magic. There were a few other wizarding homes in the area, including that of Gideon and Fabian Prewett, brothers. Gideon had been his best friend at Hogwarts, and it was from their home that he had used floo to get to Diagon Alley, since the paperwork to attach his and Dani's house to the floo network was taking a while to get through.

He reached the top of the hill and stopped in his tracks. The front door was in pieces. It was smashed apart, splintered wood scattered everywhere. Someone had blasted it apart. His stomach was suddenly tied in knots and he was finding it hard to breathe as his mind procured images that he didn't want to think about and he drew his wand, bloody vengeance promised for anyone who had hurt his family.

Only his auror training stopped this spiralling train of thoughts and forced him to think practically. He checked for any spells around the doorway, found a silencing charm, but no traps or curses. He entered cautiously and at once could hear screaming, echoing from upstairs. It was Dani. Jack was crying in the background. The Alastor heard the cold, harsh laugh… It confirmed what he'd known ever since he'd seen the broken door – Lord Voldemort was here, for him and his family.

Staying as quiet as possible, he crept up the stairs, trying to block out his wife's cried as he worked out what to do. He couldn't burst in alone; that would be suicide. Then again, going in alone at all would be suicide. But he couldn't go for help, or he'd return to an empty house with bodies and the dark mark hovering over it.

He peeped through the door where the screaming was coming from. A tall, pale man facing away from him was pointing his wand, almost lazily, at Dani. She was in the middle of the room – Jack's room, he realised – writhing on the floor and screaming with pain. Jack was on his bed, curled up in a ball and half-crying, half-screaming in fright.

Before he could decide what to do, the choice was taken away from him.

"Petrificus Totalus!" someone behind him shouted. He fell to the floor, immobile. The death eater grabbed his wand, which had fallen to the floor, picked him up by the neck of his shirt and dragged him into the room.

"My lord, I have the auror."

Voldemort turned and smiled cruelly when he saw Alastor lying in the floor. Dani gasped as she tried to regain her breath.

"Alastor Moody, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I hear that you don't like me very much! I couldn't work out why, so I decided to give you reason to hate me, while having a little fun myself."

He turned swiftly and pointed his wand at Jack, who cowered terrified, on his Wimbourne Wasps-coloured duvet.

"Daddy, hel-" he started to whimper.

"Avada Kedavra!"

"No! JACK!" Dani scrambled up and ran to the bed. Alastor, still frozen, could only watch as the curse hit his only son, throwing his small body into the wall. There was a bright green flash, then Dani was pulling a lifeless corpse towards her, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Jack! Wake up! Please, wake up, Jack, Jack… No, no… Jack…"

Alastor felt numb. Seconds. That's all it took. Seconds, and one of his reasons for living was gone. No effort. Just two words and a wave of a wand. Jack. His son. Three years old. Loves – no, loved quidditch. Drove his parents crazy at times. Oblivious to the horrors of human nature. An innocent child. All that, and more, erased in seconds.

"So, how's our auror feeling now? Still confident you can beat me, with all your training? Constant vigilance and all that?" Voldemort taunted.

Constant vigilance. It was true. He should have done the fidelius charm, whatever Dani said. He should have protected his family properly. And now… Jack was gone. Because of this monster.

Sudden rage swelled up in him, allowing him to break through the spell. Alastor launched himself at Voldemort, wanting to hurt him, if only for a second.

"You murdering son of a –"

"Diffindo!"

He staggered back, blood spurting from gashes on his chest, and fell to the floor.

"Alastor!" Dani ran to him. "Not you too… Come on, stay with me!"

He focussed on her face. "Dani…" His voice was shaking. "I'm… sorry… so sorry… I should've… looked after you… better…"

"No! It's not your fault! You wanted to do the fidelius charm, I stopped you… I should have let you, you were trying to protect us, and now Jack… and you…"

"Not your fault… never your fault…"

"I love you," she whispered. Tears marred her otherwise perfect face.

"Love you… too… Always."

"Aw, how sweet. Time to break it up. Avada Kedavra!"

Another green flash. Dani slumped against him. He was left staring into empty eyes.

"Well, auror Moody, I would like to thank you for your hospitality. The entertainment, especially, was top-notch. We'll leave you to be with your family now. Maybe you'll get lucky and someone will find you before you die of blood-loss. Either way, you'll be delivering a message for me. I will not tolerate people opposing me." He turned to leave. "By the way, sorry about the door. My companion got a little over-excited."

"MORSMORDRE!" the death eater shouted. Something green flashed past Alastor into the sky, illuminating the room in the colour he would now always associate with death.

Then they left, leaving Alastor Moody a broken man.

* * *

Mad-Eye sat up in bed, breathing heavily. He should have that that nightmare would come tonight, after the dementors. He reached into the drawer next to his bed and pulled out a photo. Dani, Jack and himself at the beach, a few weeks before THAT day. It had been Jack's first time at the beach, and he'd loved it – jumping the waves, building sandcastles and then destroying them, looking for sea creatures, splashing mummy and daddy… 

It turned out that Mad-Eye had "got lucky", as Voldemort described it. Gideon had been going to the muggle library in town when he'd seen the dark mark and raced up the hill, managing to get him to St Mungo's in time to save him.

After healing, Mad-Eye returned to his duties as an auror, talking to none of his colleagues about what had happened. The result was that many never discovered what had turned a polite, fun-loving young man into his bitter, present-day persona. Nevertheless, it didn't matter. He didn't want sympathy. He wanted to find the bastard who had destroyed his life and murdered his family, and blast him into hell for eternity. Gideon and Fabian being killed years later had only strengthened his resolve.

He'd been the one to convince Lily Potter to allow the fidelius charm. She'd given many of the same reasons as Dani had, until he had spoken to her. A lot of good it did. He'd liked Lily. James was always a little too brash, but Lily was nice. She'd reminded him of Dani. Now both James and Lily had joined the ranks of the dead.

Someone knocked at his door. He returned the photo to its hiding place, put on his gruff mask, and answered it. It was Kingsley.

"Harry's here. He needs help; Ron's been injured and Molly's having a panic attack."

Mad-Eye scowled. "Fine, I'm coming."

He would keep fighting until the day Voldemort was dead. Not until then would he allow anyone to see through his mask. Not until then would he give in to his death wish. Not until then would he join his family. 'Lord Voldemort' was going to pay.

**What did you think? I got halfway through this story and then realised I didn't actually want to kill Dani and Jack! Unfortunately that would have completely destroyed my plot, so I had to. Hope this wasn't too angsty, and the characters weren't too OOC.**

**Please review and tell me whether you liked! It took ages to write this!**


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